I remember crying in the bathroom, feeling rejected. Having failed to put my head above my heart, my studies have been affected. I felt I have disappointed my parents who put me through to school. But somehow, at that very moment, I felt the comforting embrace of Jesus. “It’s O.K. I am here.”
I was baptized as a Roman Catholic when I was barely two weeks old. Baptism is one of the seven sacraments prescribed by the Roman Catholic Church.
I received the sacrament of Confirmation when I was nine years old. This was supposed to complete the sacrament of Baptism that I received as an infant.
My parents, being very religious, also obligated us to receive the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist (i.e. go to church) every Sunday and also admonished us to receive the sacrament of reconciliation (i.e. go to confession) especially during Lent.
Though I credit these sacraments for making me aware of my religion, I can say that I only found my faith when I experienced my first heartbreak as a teenager. To me, finding my faith means having a personal experience that God indeed exists.
Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…” And at that very instance, I felt the fulfillment of God’s promise, of His presence.
But I can’t say that my life has been smooth-sailing since then. In fact, my life has been less than perfect – my journey far from what I have planned it to be. My first baby died when he was barely 3 months old. My husband left me afterwards. But somehow through it all, I experienced the comforting embrace of Jesus, much like when I was a teenager three decades ago.
I guess He never fails to let us know that, no matter what, we are indeed His children.
It is this faith that has enabled me to start my life all over again. I have remarried (yes, I went through the sacrament of Matrimony, not once – but twice.) and now have a baby girl.
Life is not without challenges which really test our faith. But I keep my faith by really carving time for God. I start my work days by spending a few minutes in prayer and scripture. And every week, my husband and I attend a prayer meeting and receive the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. It’s our weekly date with the Lord which helps us sustain our marriage.
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